Writing your own vows can be an incredibly meaningful way to add a personal touch to your wedding day. But if you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t worry. Writing a few (or even all) of your vows can be easier than you think!
Agree on the tone of the vows with your fiance
Making vows is an intimate process, but it doesn’t have to be a solitary endeavor. First, agree on the general format and tone of your vows with your partner. Then, if you so desire, write them together or separately. You may want to organize yours chronologically or present a list of heartfelt promises.make sure you and your partner talk about the length of the vows. I have filmed couples where one goes on for 10 minutes and the other’s are a few sentences long. Giving each partner 2-5 minutes each to talk, I have found is the sweet spot. However, having a conversation about having similar lengths of vows is very helpful.
Take your time
Writing your vows is a process that allows you to get introspective and consider what you really want in your relationship. There are a lot of different aspects that go into creating the perfect, heartfelt vow—and if you really want to make them meaningful and not just read something off of the internet or copy someone else’s wedding vows, be sure to take some time to really reflect on your relationship and how much you love your partner.
A few months before the wedding, it is helpful to ask yourself questions like:
Why are they the one?
What made us fall in love?
How did we meet?
What do we want our future together to look like?
How does our relationship make us both better people?
What do you respect about my partner?
When I’m away from my partner, what do I miss most about them?
Be thoughtful about your promises in your vows
These are the promises you are making to the person you plan to spend the rest of your life with. Treat these words with care. Plan ahead, think how they would respond to it, and keep them at an appropriate length.
Practice outloud
This one is self explanatory, but practice in front of the mirror or trusted loved ones so the moment feels natural and easy.
Your vows are the few moments before you promise “I do” and be a spouse! Take deep breaths and enjoy listening to your partner’s vows. Don’t focus on anything except where you are at that moment.
